Gone Is All My Childhood Joy

I went to get the mail today,
   ’Til then my day was bright.
I thought my work was caught up
   And the year had gone alright.

Like normal there were offers
   For six new credit cards,
And a flyer showing John Deere
   Has a sale on sickle guards.

Then I saw it in my hand,
   A plain white envelope.
A notice that would tilt my world
   And send me down the slope.

Gone is all my childish joy,
   Gone is my cheerful smile.
A bad taste rises in my mouth
   Like lutefisk or bile.

I felt a sharp pain hit me,
   Like a kidney stone to pass.
It seems someone has organized 
   A reunion of our class.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the folks
   With whom I went to school.
It’s when I think about myself
   My feelings start to cool.

All the things I should have done,
   All that had to wait.
I feel like I’ve been called to stand
   And answer at the gate.

But wait, I have a little time.
   There’s still a little hope.
I know I must lay out a plan,
   Define the size and scope.

Of the challenges before me,
   So in these final days
I can overcome the bad effects 
   Of my foolish ways.

First I have to lose some weight,
   Perhaps I’ll start to run.
But sweating when you’re hungry
   Don’t sound like too much fun.

And I should really have some hair,
   The kind that you can style.
But I’ve been too long without,
   Folks would point and smile.

I wish I had a better job.
   We need a brand new house.
If I didn’t love this one so much,
   I’d like a younger spouse.

I wish I was a doctor
   With perfect teeth for smiles.
I wish our car had something less
   Than a hundred thousand miles.

What to do, which way to turn,
   My world is in a spin.
My only chance with this much time:
   Play Powerball and win.

If I was rich as an Arab Sheik
   From selling oil and gas,
Then I’d be set to face the school
   Reunion of our class.