The yard has turned to slop.
The winter projects all complete
Are stacked up in the shop.
But all to no avail.
The only sure-fire antidote:
Attend an auction sale.
To justify an auction trip
Around my house is tough.
My wife is thoroughly convinced
I have way too much stuff.
“But dear,” I say in my best way,
“Attending auctions ain’t a vice.
I only go this time of year
To check out a fair price.”
“I have no purchases in mind.
I only want to see,
If that John Deere dealer late last fall
Got the best of me.”
She looks me right between the eyes;
She has known me for too long.
She’s sure I have no self-control;
I’ve seldom proved her wrong.
So I dig out my auction clothes,
And load the pickup truck.
Put on my favorite beet seed hat,
The one that brings me luck.
I come to meet the neighbors,
Have a donut and a Coke.
To talk about the weather
And hear the latest joke.
Just to stand and hear the chant
Is somehow very nice.
But I’m curious about the sale,
I listen for the price.
Then it overcomes me,
Though it’s not something I need.
They’re about to sell it way too cheap;
I buy it out of greed.
Now it seems I’m on a roll,
There is not a way to stop.
Soon I own things for the house,
The cottage and the shop.
I see my banker watching me.
That shuts down my rapid pace,
And makes me think of going home,
And the questions I will face.
I can justify the nuts and bolts,
But not the pictures of old actors.
It’s for the best that I got stopped
Before they sold the tractors.
Now I had better load my stuff,
It’s getting pretty late.
To be an auction junkie
Somehow seems my fate.